MINI TSUNAMIS- A TERROR INDEED!!
When most days in a disorganized person’s life are disastrous, one normal day can give the person involved, a feeling of impending doom. That is the lesson fate advocated to me on the eve of 27th feb,2008, a Wednesday- a truly unforgettable day in my life. My day surprisingly started off well. I made it into the living room in the morning without walking into the wall even once , albeit, I was in a sleep deprived state. There was even water left in my tap, considering that I had sauntered into the toilet at 11.30 a.m. and reside in an apartment with the most irritating bunch of early birds one could ever combat.

After gobbling down the sumptuous meal set before me, I sat down to study(yes, study. My board exams were just around the corner). It would be optimistic to the point of foolishness to suggest that I would still be whiling away my precious yet extremely boring study hols even at this juncture. As 12.30 became 5.30, I decided that I had studied long enough (with just a few dozen breaks in between), when the phone rang. It was a friend. She too had thought along the same lines as I had. A lengthy conversation ensued in which we were catching up on how life would be after the board exams, how we could let our hair down at college, what Mrs. Next Door was doing and so on. A good one hour later, when the conversation had finally ended (admittedly after both our mothers had screamed themselves hoarse with many threats of having the phone disconnected), i went back to the hall to put the phone back in its place of honor.

The sight that met my eyes chilled me completely (and I mean, literally chilled me). I was standing in the midst of a mini tsunami- the hall was flooded with water. The bedroom was no better. Little waves of water were forming every time the water came in contact with the wall. It was a catastrophe!! Willing myself not to loose my wits, though not succeeding at it, I located the source of our mini lagoon. The tube connecting the washing machine to the wash area had broken loose, and the horrendous result-a hall with a dirty, soapy, tsunamic scenario. Cursing eloquently under my breath, I helped my mother clean up the watery mess. The servant maid too had absconded to add to my disgust. By the time I was finished, bones which I didn’t know existed in my body were screaming for mercy. The hall resembled the ‘AKSHAYAPATRA’ from the Mahabharata which would give food and water until everyone had had their fill and it was asked to stop. Only, in the case of the hall, the water flow didn’t come close to stopping let alone slowing down.

After what seemed like years(it might have been several hours), I finally had the courage to put my leg on the floor. The water had finally dried up- every inch of it. I heaved a sigh of relief and flopped onto bed.

To this day, even a small puddle of water in any part of my house greatly alarms me and has me wiping it dry with a vengeance until I am quite reassured that no mini tsunami would reappear in any part of my house.

INDLISH
- JYOTI SANYAL

'Heyyyyyy. Enna doing??'
Picture a scene where two people greet each other in the above manner. Does this seem vaguely familiar? This is 'TAMLISH" or TAMIL+ENGLISH- the English spoken by typical Chennai-ites. English in fact, has diversified into HINDLISH(Hindi+English), BANGLISH(Bengali+ English), so on and so forth. Ironic though it may seem, the English that we speak vastly differs from the English that we write. This sadly is a truth, unknown to and ignored by many.

English is in fact, a very mutilated language and the way some people speak English in this modern era would make William Shakespeare turn in his grave. For instance, 'BOMB BLAST' is often pronounced by many as 'BUM BLAST' (pardon the obscenity). Jokes apart- this is really a matter of grave concern. English has become the anathema of many people considering the fact that they are out to do away with good English.

INDLISH by Jyoti Sanyal is indeed ‘A Book For Every English Speaking Indian.' English as it is , is a very clichéd language and we have now reached a stage where clichés have become the order of the day. This book by Jyoti Sanyal written in a quirky and humorous manner may be the only saving grace to put an end to this pathetic situation.

Often, people hover under the delusion that verbose, high flown and bombastic English is impressive. On reading this book, one will find that it may be impressive but only because it is completely obscure to the person at the other end of the conversation who may think that you are speaking a foreign language that is unknown to them. There are times when people continue to use wrong grammar without even batting an eyelid. I have come across people who very nonchalantly say ''I repeat again, this is not the solution to the problem‘' - the 'AGAIN’ in the sentence is absolutely unnecessary. With the Electronic and Print media often inflicting such atrocities on us, it is indeed fortunate that we have this book in our midst.

Indlish is an eye opener to every English speaking Indian and also acts as a guide to journalists. This book is very easy to follow as it contains many anecdotes, cartoons and guidelines presented in a very concise and comical manner.

This book may not be one of your typical Jeffrey Archers or Robin Cooks, nevertheless it is an extremely, funny, witty and well written book. Get your hands on a copy of Indlish and don’t be biased. You will definitely find that this book is not as bad as it seems to be. Happy reading.

INFOTAINMENT- COMICS INDEED!!!!!
Picture this scene. It is very common to teens around the globe (at least, most teens, I am not talking about over conscientious students who study for at least 23 hours a day and crib that they haven‘t studied enough). It is the morn of your dreaded exam and being a typical teenager you have not yet covered your syllabus completely. With great difficulty, you get up from the bed which sensuously seems to beckon you as if aware of your sleep deprived state. You are finally awake(or so you think) and start another cramming session in the wee hours of dawn. .
You start studying, only to realize that you're too sleepy to read anything even remotely connected to academics which only seem to intensify the soporific effect on an already sleepy you. As you head to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, you chance a glance at one of the comic books lying around. You need something to keep you awake at least long enough to get part of the horror you have for the exam into your head. You start leafing through the pages of the comic book. You start feeling less like a zombie, you feel more wide awake. You are finally ready to take on the dull drab which threatened to overwhelm you mere minutes ago with renewed vigor. After a healthy dose of laughter, you are ready to face those dreary textbooks again. Kudos to the Comics. We all love them.

As this fast paced era of technology advances, teens in general forget one very important thing- reading. It is a compelling truth that grows by the nanosecond.
The startling aspect that haunts modern life, more startling than the imaginary blood covered hands that haunted Lady Macbeth is that, people do not consider reading as something necessary in this modern era. However it‘s not too late. There is hope for this dark situation, a beacon of hope, a ray of light(I am not exaggerating)- COMICS

It is a general assumption that comic books are for children and do not serve any purpose other than rotting people’s minds. This is a fact very far from the truth. Compelling covers, clear dialogues, purposeful layouts and the colorful pages characterize a comic book. These are what comics are and what more than millions of people around the world devour. They are entertaining, informative, humorous and penetrating.

Comics are a living phenomena . They are books with a purpose I.e. is to deliver a good story with colorful sketches that brings the reader immense joy and in some way help them identify themselves along with the characters . Indeed, every clumsy teen can relate to loveable, accident prone Archie Andrews of Riverdale, every glutton to Jughead a.k.a Forsythe. P. Jones, every narcissist to Reggie Mantle, every teen can and does appreciate the rib tickling humor of Asterix and Calvin and Hobbes.

Apart from providing us a good laugh, comics are extremely informative. For instance, a story in one of the Archie comics deal with euphemisms - use of less offensive words or phrases to convey something. It would definitely be easier to learn about euphemisms from a colorful comic strip which is less verbose rather than learning about them from dull, monotonous, brown covered texts. Not only does the reader learn the use of euphemisms, but will also feel interested to probe more into the subject.- to put it in a nutshell, Comics do help in gaining knowledge. So, for those elders who think comics are a waste of time, think again. Do not judge a comic by its cover. Try it out and you will definitely agree that they are not as bad as you think.

PICTURE PERFECT
Bizarre though it may seem, despite being a girl and that too a teenager, I have never been enamored by any of the cosmetics and girlish fancies unlike my contemporaries. So, an announcement over the intercom at school saying that all class 12 students would have their group photographs taken in the following hours had me stunned. The room which had been teeming with my classmates, jabbering away incessantly till then, was empty even before you could complete the phrase ‘‘group photograph.’’
There was a mad rush at all school bags, and combs of various shapes and sizes along with various tubes of cleansing lotions made their way into people’s pockets.

Even an announcement from the principal in the morning, asking us to come on time to the school assembly could not have elicited such a spontaneous reaction from any student.

I was the only one left in the room, still getting over the shock of a suddenly empty classroom. Deserted by even my closest of friends, I was still pondering over where the mob had disappeared to. I decided that the restroom would be the best place to look for them. My hunch was not in vain. I was definitely not disappointed.

The place where you normally go to empty your bowels indeed had multiple uses- something I learned very fast I.e. , the moment I peeked in to the restroom.
The mirrors which once upon a time showed a person’s reflection, had many other people staring out of them in various poses. There was a hooligan like rush for the two mirrors in the toilet . Students were painting their lips, washing their face in a mad frenzy as though they hadn’t taken a bath in days. Some people’s face was contorted with the effort of ensuring that their eye brows still remained perfectly shaped . Heaven forbid if even a hair on the head was out of place. Combs would be taken out of the pockets and the tresses would be redone yet again for the hundredth time (or maybe for the two hundredth, but who‘s counting??).The normally foul smelling restroom was completely transformed. It was as though a perfume factory had erupted in there.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, my friends, after debating that two hours in the loo was more than enough, started making their way back to class.

For me, it was indeed a weird yet new experience, shocking yet enjoyable. I now know why people smile when they are complemented on being picture perfect than when they are complemented on a perfect math score. The effort involved is definitely more . This would indeed be a memory I would cherish every time I look at my class photograph though i had not been a complete part or rather, even a miniscule part of the behind-the-scenes activities!!!

Classics Are Not Boring
Most people are under the impression that classics are boring and that’s just the beginning. In fact, when people are questioned about classics, you can be sure to be greeted with blank, ‘what-the-heck-are-you-talking-about????’ looks. Every time you read a classic, you see more in yourself than in the book. Classics aren’t the ending of a reading session; they are the beginning of a self introspection- they have characters you can relate to.

Classics are a unique genre of books which contain varied elements unlike other books that deal with one exclusive concept(adventure, philosophy, etc). Classics are a melting pot of various ideas- the thrill of a mystery, the intrigue of a murder, the passion involved in a romance, etc. Critics of classics either lack the fine tune or temperament for some of them, or criticize them just for the sake of doing so. A ‘classic’ example of family love is the ‘Little Women’ series by Louisa May Alcott, or the Anne of the Green Gable series by L.M.Montgomery. For those with a passion for pure adventure, ‘The Count Of Monte Cristoe’ by Alexandre Dumas fits the bill.

Travel to the Victorian times or get a passport to the future. In short, break the jinx. Get your hands on a classic and don’t be biased. You’ll definitely find out that classics are not as bad as they are made out to be.

Plagiarism- Copyright Crisis or Global Challenge.
Challenges are varied in nature, ranging from small ones that may bruise our ego a bit to larger ones that may affect us at a much higher level. One of these challenges is ‘COPYING’ a. k. a. plagiarism. Derived from the Latin word ‘PLAGIARE’ which means ‘to kidnap,’ plagiarism literally means ‘to kidnap’ or copy someone else’s idea and pass it off as their own.

Clichéd though it may sound, credit is often not given where credit is due- indeed a negative outcome of plagiarism. When people come across news items about people who get into trouble over plagiarism, they shake their heads and walk away ‘tut-tutting’ in a disagreeable manner. They don’t realize that they themselves might have plagiarized something and are blissfully unaware of the consequences that they may have to face. Many a time, plagiarism of scientific works result in political animosity and stagnant development. Plagiarism kills imaginative reasoning, leads to loss of intellectual credibility and destabilizes creative minds. Endless arguments on who deserves the credit overshadows the real issue that ought to be addressed.

Most of us are familiar with the Kaavya Viswanathan fiasco. The eighteen year old Harvard student has become notoriously well known due to her book ‘How Opal Mehta got kissed, got wild and got a life, which has many parts copied verbatim from novels by Megan McCafferty such as ‘SLOPPY FIRSTS and SECOND HELPING. The poor girl has been defamed to such an extent that one could write a story on her life- How Kaavya Viswanathan Plagiarized, Got Rich , and Fell flat on her face.
Fast emerging as one of the major globally sensitive issues of the world, plagiarism should definitely be nipped in the bud.

‘Bored’ Exam Blues
Picture this agonizing scene. You see a gaggle of school kids, bunched up together in small groups outside the exam hall- some grimacing, some staring blankly into space, some almost tearing the hair out of their heads because the solution to the darned math problem is playing truant, stubbornly refusing to make contact with the jaded teen’s mind and yet others doing the perfect balancing act, juggling three out of the five notebooks, trying to cram in the last few minutes- indeed a shoo-in for any of the famous circuses in the city.

It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that it's that dreaded time of the year, that time of the year which seems to be never ending and which unfortunately ‘makes or mar your future’ as elders have the knack of putting it. EXAM TIME. I can vividly recall incidents of my own tenth standard days which makes me shudder even now. It was as though the whole world knew that I was going to sit for my public exam on the customary march second(the date normally set for the commencement of std.10 exams). All the social events I attended that year were nothing short of certified disasters. When people came to know that I was in the tenth standard, I would be greeted with horrified ‘oh-my-god-she’s-in-the-tenth-standard-and she’s-actually-partying-five-months-before-the-exam- ’ looks. I mean, do tenth and twelfth standard students sprout horns or something before the bored exams (pun intended). In the olden days, if the marks scored were low, people would find comfort in the old adage ‘Marks are not the measure of man’s intelligence.’ Now however, it is a conveniently forgotten fact. If ‘MARXISM’ belonged to the past, then, the present generation’s trend is ‘MARK’ism- ‘do so well that people cannot find any flaws in your paper’- indeed a Herculean feat that is next to impossible. The competition in these exams have rocketed to such high levels that, preparations for these exams have to be started at a very early stage.

(STATUTORY WARNING: Preparing children, below the age of five for these exams is not advisable to those adults who have extremely sensitive ears and do not wish to render themselves deaf. Not all children like to study science, math and environmental studies, when they are busy studying their elders‘ mannerisms , trying to see how best they can make them toe the line).

The end of March clearly indicates freedom- the reference of course is being made to the ‘bored’ exams, during which the students let their hair down and continue to do so until, two years later, it is unfortunately déjà vu all over again as far as tenth graders are concerned. For the twelfth however, it is a different story altogether.